Good news for non-smoking New Yorkers who occasionally catch a whiff of cigarette smoke for a half-second while they're walking outdoors: Mayor Michael Bloomberg signed a law today making sure this never happens again! No promises, though.

The new smoking ban expansion, which made it out of city council earlier this month, extends to the city's "1,700 parks and 14 miles of public beaches. City pools and recreation centers will also be smoke free." Anywhere else? "The bill bans smoking in city pedestrian plazas, like in Times Square, as well." Again: It will be illegal to smoke a cigarette in Times Square, the famous neon dumpster. Who will inform the tourists?

The bill goes into effect in 90 days, so get dozens of cartons of Luckies and park yourself on your favorite Central Park bench right now. Whenever the ashtray fills, empty it on a jogger's head, or perhaps next to a family of ducks, specifically to piss Michael Bloomberg off.

Not that it really matters. When the law does go into effect, if yo'll recall NYPD officers won't be used to enforce it and issue the small fine. Bloomberg's plan instead is to urge the people walking near you, the offender, to tell you to quit smoking. So basically you can keep smoking and punch somebody in the face.

S: GK